This guy upset me on purpose. How do I deal with him without physically hurting him?

You are over reacting , just take it in normal stride , do not bother , or let yourself be bothered , stay calm and cool , ignore and ignore , give him serious looks when he tries to be funny and let him know you do not like his creepy attitude or sense of humor . There are people like him all over and one has to learn to live with them .. without crying .... Just ignore him and stay serious / calm and composed . Indicate to him through your attitude that you do not approve what all he does .. that's it