Should I commit suicide or ask God to end my life?

I'm fourteen and I have menntal problems and issues,I'm a black boy abut I wish I was japanese straight boy,I am only attracted to males not females,but I hate myself I'm homeschooled I have no friends,I want my child hood back like I wanna God to redo something,I want to ask him to let me be reborn the same person just with a better personality different act,not have weird phobis,I got picked on in th 5th 6th 7th and I was homeschooled in 8th grade,in 7th I went to a private school in the middle of the year,I got called gay caused I acted gay ,I have been afraid to make friends because I am so used to getting picked on I'm afraid everytbody I meet is gonna pick on me,how can I ask to let me be reborn just with me being straight with a differnt persona I would love to have grown up having a better childhood not that I didnt though,but I think my time on earth is up ,but if I die people around me will be hurt so how can I ask God to turn back time and redo everything cause I wanna be a kid again,I dont wanna grow up